Shit I saw yesterday and still need to vent about...

We'll leave the light on for ya...: I don't know about anyone else, but I for one am incredibly curious what the fuck Brad Lidge has pictures of Charlie Manuel doing. How else can you possibly explain Charlie's unwillingness to officially demote the former "Lights Out" closer? I, like most Phillies fans, was willing to give Lidge something of a free pass for much of this season, even willing to believe his knee was causing his case of pitching diarrhea. Unfortunately for Brad, Charlie, and all the rest of us with an interest in seeing the Phils in another dog pile in front of the pitcher's mound, "Motel 6"'s recently electric stuff belie that notion. It's plainly obvious, at this point even seemingly to Charlie, that our worst fears have materialized: Lidge is back in the psychological downward spiral that prompted Houston to ship him out of town in the first place. Charlie acknowledged as much by pulling Lidge before he had the chance to finish yet another fucktacular 9th inning collapse. Why yank him from the game if you don't see his defeat as an inevitability? Loyalty is an admirable quality in a manager, and one which has paid off for Charlie in the past, as he waited for players such as J-Roll, Ryan, and Chase to break out of slumps so deep you began to wonder if the productive days were the fluky ones. The time for loyalty is over. If this team has any hope at all of repeating, someone other than Lidge is going to have to be closing games out. If Brad really sees a demotion, after all that he's been through this year, as any sort of a betrayal, then the question of loyalty is moot. What obligation does Charlie have to stay loyal to a player who puts his own status ahead of the good of the team?

We don't need no education: I don't like piling on when shit blows up in people's faces, being a human being quite prone to making mistakes myself, but in the case of injured All-American Oklahoma Sooners Sam Bradford and Jermaine Gresham, it's just impossible to resist: THIS IS WHY YOU TAKE THE GUARANTEED MILLIONS AND FIRST ROUND DRAFT POSITION THE FIRST TIME! I know you want to win a national title. I know college is fun. You know what's even more fun? Being an NFL superstar, winning Super Bowls, and living the next 40 years like a carefree college student as you count the millions upon millions you made playing a children's game.

Scary Mother's Day: Even with the Phils giving me my nightly dose of agida and the Sooners sparking my schadenfreude gene, Tuesday's most memorable moments were provided by a pair of Moms I Wouldn't wanna Fuck with (MIWFs). Early in the day, it was Kim Clijsters, continuing her triumphant return from over two years away from tennis due to the birth of her first child, with a straight set spanking of Li Na. But as brilliant as Kim was, the mightiest mommy of the day was, without a doubt, Barbara Padilla, the odds-on favorite to win this season of America's Got Talent. Her performance last night, as it does every week, forced personal preferences (give me Drew Stevyns/Seether's version of "Careless Whisper" or anything Recycled Percussion want to do any day of the week over "Ava Maria") aside in bursting through the screen and injecting any room with life. Kim and Barbara join the likes of Beatrix Kiddo, Lucille Bluth, Dara Torres, and Debbie Phelps among the ranks of the world's most intimidating MIWFs. Cross their paths at your own peril.