Nothing is fucked? The goddamn plane has crashed into the mountains!

Well, kiddos, the mother of all fucking catastrophes is about to strike the city of Philadelphia. With the Phils holding a commanding 3-1 lead in the NLCS, the city of brotherly love's thoughts have started to shift forward to the World Series. Lo and behold, Mayor Michael Nutter is reportedly considering making the same ridiculous mistake this city has been making for 15 years. He's thinking about putting the jersey on William Penn. I don't even know what else to say, except that this clearly cannot be allowed to happen. I need game plans, folks, how the fuck are we going to stop this from occurring?

edit: nothing is fucked. The mayor's office issued a form letter and some dude from Modell's is on WIP swearing there will be no dressing up of William Penn. Now back to regular programming.