You can hate me...now.

I'm here to defend the Eagles for signing Michael Vick. That's not to say I'm here to defend Michael Vick, and it's certainly not to say I condone dogfighting, which gets your ass put in prison for a reason when you're caught doing it. But the concept of a second chance? Yes, I will absolutely defend that. Especially in the case of a man who, despite the brutal nature of his crimes, committed crimes not of hatred or violence but of greed, and who was sentenced beyond the harshest guidelines recommended by his prosecutor. When that man sits again in front of a man who he quite famously lied to, regains his trust, and gets himself reinstated in that man's league, who the fuck am I to stand in the way of the American justice system and the Commissioner of the NFL to give him his second chance?

I didn't really like coming to the conclusion that I had to accept Mike Vick back in the NFL when I came to it, long before he was an Eagle, but objectively, it's clearly Vick's right to pursue his happiness/property/whatever as long as it doesn't involve voting, or taking government jobs, or any of the things ex-cons can't do. So if an NFL team wants to sign him, I've been saying, and the Commissioner doesn't play his Stalin card and ban him, go Michael. Being someone who loves drama and likes a comeback story, I might even root for you.

Which brings me to the football side of this story. For the last couple weeks, since I first read the case for it on profootballtalk, and considered the absolutely delicious situation it would create with my rabid Stiller fan/dog lover of a girlfriend, I've been praying Vick would land with the Steelers. Not just because I love drama in my football, but because Vick in that offense would've been fun. And actually probably would've been the one weapon I see that offense missing unless Hines Ward manages to go back in time instead of forward or Limas Sweed squares and then doubles his 2008 catch total.

Never, in all that time, did I even consider how much better of a fit he might be in Philly. Forget about Kevin Kolb's injury, though his potential utility as a backup quarterback isn't a negative by any stretch of the imagination, and may even have been the catalyst for the move. But his role, if I were to guess, is probably gonna look a lot more like Brian Westbrook's rookie year. 15-20 snaps a game, lined up anywhere on the offense other than tight end, giving a defense one more home run hitter to worry about. How do you gameplan for an offense that can potentially present you McNabb flanked by Vick and Westbrook in the shotgun, with Maclin and Desean split out wide and Curtis in the slot? For a fanbase that has been so weapon-starved for so long to suddenly be turning up their noses at one of the most dangerous players the league has ever seen with the football in his hands is absolutely ludicrous.

And yet, turn on WIP today and all you hear are stories of people walking out of the Linc last night when they heard. Or Ray Didinger's wife greeting him with the pictures of the dogs last night when he got home. Can you honestly tell me people would be this upset if the Eagles signed Mr. Endangers Human Beings By Bringing an Illegal Gun to the Club in his Sweat Pants? He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but something tells me most Eagles fans wouldn't have to think very long before they said "this is the best threat McNabb has ever had other than Owens. Super Bowl baby!!!" I doubt Ray Didinger would've had to worry about seeing pictures of kids whose heads have gotten blown off by accidental gunfire. I'm sick of this bullshit emotional reaction. To every asshole who wants to tell me about the awful things Vick did, riddle me this: why are there prisons and sentences if you can't go back about your life after serving your time? Why don't we just kill all felons since their lives are essentially over anyway?

At the end of the day, most football seasons don't end well, and in fact, despite the last 9 years of Eagles football spoiling me, most teams have pretty sad, boring years most years. At least now, I am guaranteed that Eagles football is gonna be the most interesting show in town, and it won't even just be on Sundays. There is no fanbase I've ever seen in sports that's more inclined to hate its team than Eagles fans. WIP season started a month early for me this year, and something tells me it's gonna go loooong past the Super Bowl. Color me pumped...and probably now hated by everyone I know.

P.S. When faced with the decision to either link everything or not link anything...I took the lazy route. Click me for the rest!

Drove the Eagles to the goal line but the goal was denied...

I would love to sit here today and bitch and moan about Andy Reid's idiocy. The goal line futility. The lack of a fullback. The decision to jettison T.O. The refusal to use Buck or Baskett or Avant or Celek. The fact that Schobel and Considine and G-Lew still have jobs. But Doc Terry and the Greystone Ramblers do a better job than I would, and they do it in song! I give you "Andy Reid Bye:"
Click me for the rest!

A little ditty I wrote, every word of which is 100% true

(sung to the tune of the John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt song)

The Eagles are coached by a fat fucking dick
His name is my name too
There's never any doubt
It's always three and out
The Eagles are coached by a fat fucking dick Click me for the rest!

He's a real reactionary...

First things first. I guess Brewers management thinks they're even deader than I do, eh?

On another note, disappointing or not, I saw a lot of encouraging signs out of the Eagles tonight, foremost among them Desean Jackson. I didn't expect nearly the scoring I saw tonight, but I'm not surprised given the caliber of offenses the teams saw last week, but I saw an Eagles offense which was as explosive and diverse as any I've ever seen, and as accurate a Donovan as I've ever seen. If they play defense against everyone more like they did against the rams than they did tonight, this team will have only injuries or itself to blame for not making a deep postseason run. And now back to regular programming. Let's go Phils. Click me for the rest!

I've got a hunger, twisting my stomach into knots...

In non-Phils news (for the unaware: Phils post directly below) I'm hungry, which means I'm cranky, which usually makes for a good blog post. So I'm gonna starve myself a bit whilst recounting my ridiculously inane existence. Most recently, I became aware of my hunger only when the Apple TV -- which is currently handling music to keep my computer from heating up too much without requiring the A/C, which I don't want because the breeze is so nice -- played "The Sound of Settling..." and my stomach said "yo fucker, your ACTUAL stomach has is twisting into actual knots." while I was writing my Phils post. Truth be told, I really don't have anything else to report. Dropped by the new Fiji house for the first time over the weekend, met a bunch of new rushes who seemed legit enough to me, witnessed the usual debaucherama (which, to clarify, is debauchery and drama, not lots of debauchery...though perhaps it was really a debaucheramarama? In any event, I think I've got the only word ending in in "ock" or "ama" which the MegalObamaniacs can't co-opt), in addition to later seeing my very wise, politically-minded friend Captain Riggs for the first time in a while who regaled me with tales of the capital and conventions, and who I hope to be lucky enough to visit some time in the next year in Oxford. Other than that the rain and the arrival of rock band (a night early, because I rule!) pretty much guaranteed that Michelle and I would be glued to the tv screen for the rest of the weekend, alternating between the 42 monumentally important baseball games played in the last 48 hours and the weekend's footballing, highlighted of course by the Steelers' riveting 10-6 victory over the Browns in what was left of Ike last night. Somehow, it was actually even less entertaining than the 3-0 game they played against Miami last year. I never thought I'd say those words, but it's really true. Anyone who watched them both couldn't possibly argue with me. This game featured football every bit as poor as that one, without any of the fun of sloppin it around in the mud or seeing a punt stick out of the ground like Punxatawney Phil. It's too bad I don't have a football game to be excited about tonight. Click me for the rest!