I'm a new drug who's trafficked through far and distant lands...

So, as some of you know, examiner.com recently offered me a spot writing about the Philadelphian in New York's perspective on the Philly/New York teams and rivalries...sorta like Sleeping with the Enemy except there's no sleeping with anyone. So, that means the vast majority of my sports posts will go there, not here...but fret not, there'll be links. And i expect them clicked. And perhaps someday, we'll grow to the comments phase? I know there are a few of you reading this, you've admitted as much to me in person. Anyway, my first post went up today...it got buried on the 2nd page of Examiner's New York channel by the time it got approved, but that's why you've got me, right? Without further ado...

Why the Mets are doomed to fail again in 2009

Click, comment, but most of all keep checking back because there is sure to be more where that came from.

P.S. Expect more Forgive Durden lyrics, too. Holy awesome. Wish I had gotten to that party like 2 years earlier.

P.P.S. I went to Ben Folds last night. It was awesome. I have the set list, but there's not a ton more I have to say about it other than I adore Ben Folds and every time I see him he nails every note of every song and entertains the living hell out of the crowd. So if you want the set list...you must ask for it. Click me for the rest!

Holy Crying Fanbase, Batman!

So...the Phils really suck lately. Have you noticed? 50 days ago, which has a nice, round feel to it, if you ask me, I wrote a rather lengthy, somewhat tongue in cheek post about the pathos of the Metsies, as Keith Hernandez nauseatingly refers to them on an inningly basis, and lo and behold the very same Be Careful What You Wish For department which brought me a cat named Sharpie and a heartbreaking night in Jacksonville has delivered the very race with the Mets I longed for. Unfortunately, it's brought a bit of a panic attack to Philsville.

At that time, the Phils were 40-28, a day away from their season's current high point at 13 games over. As it stands now, following this week's incredibly lopsided on the field, but very minimally damaging in the standings 1-2 series for the Phils at Shea, the Mets are 55-47 and the Phils stand a game behind them at 54-48. One game back with another nice, round, number of games (60) left in the season. That's 60/162. It doesn't take a degree in applied mathematics from MIT to notice a few things going on here. First of all, the Phils have been a pretty putrid 13-20 since being 13 games over .500. Take out the 6-game losing streak which almost immediately followed that mark and they're only a game under .500 over the rest of that span. Hardly setting the world on fire, but hardly enough to sink a season...just ask Mets fans, they played shittier for longer earlier this year.

Which brings me to my next point...Over the same period of time, the Mets are incredibly hot. On June 12, they were 31-34. They were an organization in such disarray, taking 2/3 from Texas at Shea that weekend still got Willie Randolph fired...by e-mail...after the first game of a West Coast road trip...which he won. Since then, the Mets are 25-14. So, I'd be a fool to say there isn't any cause for concern. Clearly, if things continue on as they have for the past 7 weeks, the Phils have absolutely no chance of making the postseason again. Of course, they also probably won't finish over .500. If they continue at their post-June 12 .4117 winning percentage, they'll win 24.7 of their final 60 games. Since we're Phils fans here, we'll be generous and call that a 25-35 home stretch. Meanwhile, if the Mets continue playing .641 ball over their final 60 they'll win 38.46. In the interest of objectivity, I'll follow standard conventions with regards to rounding decimals and call that 38 wins. So when the Phils finish 79-83 and the Mets finish 103-59, I doubt anyone will be too worried about the postseason.


Thankfully for me, the Phils and Mets still have over a third of their seasons left to play, and if the first 102 games taught us anything about these teams, it's that they're both vastly flawed but capable of being the best team in the National League over an extended period of time. The chances of either of these teams, as presently constituted, playing in the same manner as they have since June 12 are miniscule. Neither of them has ever shown anything resembling that type of consistency and baseball teams simply don't win 64% of their games. I wouldn't pretend the phils can't be as bad as a .412 team, but I'm gonna go out boldly on that limb and say that if J-Roll can manage the simple fucking task of following the two easiest rules on earth, the Phils will play better down the stretch. It's with that, that I get to the true reason for my post...my brethren in Phillies land need a hug. Badly. And perhaps after the hug, someone slapping them across the face and screaming man the fuck up, there's 60 games left to play. As always, the best-written and most heartfelt take on the subject goes to Jason Weitzel at Beerleaguer, who, in quintessentially Philadelphian fashion, has gone off the deep end. I'll end this beast with a snippet from Beerleaguer. Jason, if you ever need cheering up, remember you have readers who generate hundreds of interesting, passionate comments over the course of even the most mundane Phils game...I'm pretty sure 3 people know I'm here thus far.

"This team has problems, brother. Do they ever. Chief among them: the New York Mets, who were better than the Phillies in approximately 26 out of 27 innings this series. Perez becomes the latest pitcher to set a season high against the vaunted Phillies offense. A close second: the vaunted Phillies offense, past the point where dysfunction can be blamed on "pressing." Third, the Marlins. Or the pitching. Take your pick.

So is it inappropriate to use the word "collapse" in July? Because this one is starting to mix in all the wonderful ingredients (comfortable lead followed by controversy, dysfunction, underachieving) that sunk the Mets in '07.

Or do we skip all that and say the Phillies just aren't good enough?"

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Step Right Up and Beat the Mets...

There is perhaps nothing in the world I enjoy more than watching the Mets suffer. Live with the world's most annoying fanbase with the biggest Yankee-inferiority complex imaginable for a little while as anything other than a member of it and you'll understand why. But I think it's especially sweet for me, as a Phillies fan after living through 8 years of Phillie Phailures, and having predominantly Mets fans as friends to boot. So watching this team continue to stumble and fumble and bumble and invent ways to lose like they're still caught in that 4-game sweep at CBP last August/September over the first 60+ games of the season has been, truly, as entertaining for me as watching the Phils play some of the best baseball in the Majors. But what's transpired over the last week of Mets baseball...not even I would wish this on anyone.

This is truly beneath the dignity of a Major League Baseball team. The New York Mets have now blown a lead of 3 runs or greater in the 8th inning or later of FIVE consecutive games. They've lost six of their last seven games. They have genuinely perfected the art of snatching defeat from the jaws of victory. And the truly amusing part of it is, this has been easily their best stretch of starting pitching of the season. As Gary Cohen is explaining on SNY's postgame as I type this, for the first two months of the season, the Mets' bullpen was the team's unquestioned strength and the only reliable facet of an otherwise underachieving team filled with declining offensive stars and a suicidal mixture of inexperienced and unreliable younger starting pitchers and injury prone, aging veterans. While it was lauded at the time as the move which made the Mets favorites in the East again, the deal didn't come without its own monumental risks, namely in that it left the team even more bereft of Major League-ready depth in the minors than it already was. While I won't pretend that Santana's astronomical contract will make any player unaffordable to the deep-pocketed Mets, the opportunity to significantly improve a ballclub midseason by primarily financial means is almost non-existent, and there is simply nothing for the Mets to even offer another team, were they even willing to further compromise the future in hopes of salvaging a season which shows very few signs of turning around. I won't tempt karma, or the becarefulwhatyouwishfor Gods, as I like to call them, by saying I hope the Mets turn it around, but it will be slightly bittersweet if the Phillies continue to play the upper echelon ball they've made it their business to play this season, and the Mets can't hold up their end of what was supposed to be the breakout season in baseball's next great rivalry.

That all having been said, there is one aspect of this implosion which has been completely guilt and sympathy free for me: chatty cathy himself, Billy the Child Wagner, he of the "I didn't blow a save tonight, go ask my teammates why we can't win" rant just a few weeks back, has blown saves in his last three appearances. To put that in perspective, Little William was perceived as somewhat unreliable during his times with the Phillies during 2004 and 2005, blowing 7 saves in 66 opportunities. The last time he blew three consecutive saves? 2000, as a member of the Houston Astros. He's now blown 5 saves in each of his three years as a Met, and of course, he has to keep closing until October...well, let's be honest with ourselves, for this team...probably September. I think the horse himself just put it best to the assembled New York media on SNY..."I can't say a thing about our team. I suck." Billy, you said it man. Now if only you knew it was time to shut up. If I feel like it, there'll be a post coming a little later with pictures, a setlist, and some impressions from the Spill Canvas show I attended last night.

Until next time, you can derelick my balls, Mugatu.

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