You think there's a million Lees out there? That is so rich.

I'm gonna try to keep this Cliff Lee lovefest brief, because, well, I could literally do the job with one sentence: Cliff Lee pitched a complete game 2-hit, 11-strikeout gem tonight in which he had as many hits as his opposition. What the hell more could I possibly need to say about the guy? I truly pity any team who deals for Roy Halladay this offseason if they're still looking at Clifton as the consolation prize, because there's just no way he can top this. After his second complete game in four starts with the Phillies, Cliff's National League resume now looks as follows:

33 IP, 3 ER, 16 H, 8 BB, 34 K, 4 W, 0 L, 0.82 ERA

So if you hear anything about suspicious activity at Lee's house tonight, well...just know I was worried about him.... Click me for the rest!

Too funny for words

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Just let your soul glow

With Pedro Martinez, the last, best hope for the jhericurl, set to make his home debut for the Phillies tonight against the Diamondbacks, there are only two things I can think about: finding myself some Soul Glo and finding the Phillies a closer who isn't on the wrong side of his deal with the devil. We'll get down to the latter in a moment, but first, I need a moment to fix my hair...


The Brad Lidge situation, sadly, is a bit trickier than my 'do. Brett Myers appeared to many of us, myself included, to be the most likely savior. But then, of course, we remembered he was Brett Myers coming off not only hip surgery but any number of the following: his 4-year old son's fastball, his 4-year old son's toys, his own drunken buffoonery, and/or a bar fight involving his friend which he definitely witnessed but appears to have not taken part in. So, until I see him prove otherwise on the mound, Brett Myers is out of the running. But let me be the first to make the case, right now, for the Phillies to sign him as a free agent closer this offseason. We'll need one.

The next most logical option would probably be to give either Pedro or JA Happ a shot, depending on which of them you choose for a 4-man playoff rotation. But of course, neither of them has the singular out pitch you want in a closer, and neither has closed any time even close to as recently as Myers' stint in 2007 and won't get much of an audition before a potential playoff matchup.

Which leaves, as far as I can tell, three options: closer by committee, which is essentially like forfeiting in the playoffs (just ask Grady Little); calling up a young, unknown arm in the mold of K-Rod with the 2002 Angels and David Price last year with the Rays, which is slightly more appealing but still obviously dicey and not remotely in line with the Phils' philosophy concerning their upper tier young pitchers; and turning to the most reliable arm in the Phillies' 2009 bullpen. I can't believe I'm saying it, but I think the Phillies need to take a cue from Pedro and let their Seoul glow. It's time for Chan Ho Park to get a couple weeks' audition in the closer's role.

To put it quite simply, Chan Ho has earned it: in 37 innings as a reliever in 2009, over 26 appearances, Park has posted a 2.68 ERA, a better than 5:1 strikeout to walk ratio (41 K vs. 8 BB) and held opposing hitters to a staggering .277 slugging pct. To put that in perspective, Carlos Ruiz is slugging nearly 100 points better than batters who have faced Chan Ho coming out of the pen this year. More importantly, over Lidge's last 37 innings, dating back to April 23, opponents are slugging .524 off of him. Which is actually a bit better than his season total. Given the demotion Chan Ho accepted with poise and class earlier this season (coughMoyer'sabitteroldmancough), it's only right that he gets the opportunity to replace someone who he is clearly outperforming. If only for the purposes of giving Lidge a couple of weeks to go figure out who left the lights on and how he can turn them back out, and giving themselves a better idea of what exactly their options are as the season winds down and, hopefully, they move on into October. Time isn't gonna get any better for experimenting as the end draws nearer. Click me for the rest!

Consider this a palate cleanser. And proof I love animals too!

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You can hate me...now.

I'm here to defend the Eagles for signing Michael Vick. That's not to say I'm here to defend Michael Vick, and it's certainly not to say I condone dogfighting, which gets your ass put in prison for a reason when you're caught doing it. But the concept of a second chance? Yes, I will absolutely defend that. Especially in the case of a man who, despite the brutal nature of his crimes, committed crimes not of hatred or violence but of greed, and who was sentenced beyond the harshest guidelines recommended by his prosecutor. When that man sits again in front of a man who he quite famously lied to, regains his trust, and gets himself reinstated in that man's league, who the fuck am I to stand in the way of the American justice system and the Commissioner of the NFL to give him his second chance?

I didn't really like coming to the conclusion that I had to accept Mike Vick back in the NFL when I came to it, long before he was an Eagle, but objectively, it's clearly Vick's right to pursue his happiness/property/whatever as long as it doesn't involve voting, or taking government jobs, or any of the things ex-cons can't do. So if an NFL team wants to sign him, I've been saying, and the Commissioner doesn't play his Stalin card and ban him, go Michael. Being someone who loves drama and likes a comeback story, I might even root for you.

Which brings me to the football side of this story. For the last couple weeks, since I first read the case for it on profootballtalk, and considered the absolutely delicious situation it would create with my rabid Stiller fan/dog lover of a girlfriend, I've been praying Vick would land with the Steelers. Not just because I love drama in my football, but because Vick in that offense would've been fun. And actually probably would've been the one weapon I see that offense missing unless Hines Ward manages to go back in time instead of forward or Limas Sweed squares and then doubles his 2008 catch total.

Never, in all that time, did I even consider how much better of a fit he might be in Philly. Forget about Kevin Kolb's injury, though his potential utility as a backup quarterback isn't a negative by any stretch of the imagination, and may even have been the catalyst for the move. But his role, if I were to guess, is probably gonna look a lot more like Brian Westbrook's rookie year. 15-20 snaps a game, lined up anywhere on the offense other than tight end, giving a defense one more home run hitter to worry about. How do you gameplan for an offense that can potentially present you McNabb flanked by Vick and Westbrook in the shotgun, with Maclin and Desean split out wide and Curtis in the slot? For a fanbase that has been so weapon-starved for so long to suddenly be turning up their noses at one of the most dangerous players the league has ever seen with the football in his hands is absolutely ludicrous.

And yet, turn on WIP today and all you hear are stories of people walking out of the Linc last night when they heard. Or Ray Didinger's wife greeting him with the pictures of the dogs last night when he got home. Can you honestly tell me people would be this upset if the Eagles signed Mr. Endangers Human Beings By Bringing an Illegal Gun to the Club in his Sweat Pants? He hasn't even had his day in court yet, but something tells me most Eagles fans wouldn't have to think very long before they said "this is the best threat McNabb has ever had other than Owens. Super Bowl baby!!!" I doubt Ray Didinger would've had to worry about seeing pictures of kids whose heads have gotten blown off by accidental gunfire. I'm sick of this bullshit emotional reaction. To every asshole who wants to tell me about the awful things Vick did, riddle me this: why are there prisons and sentences if you can't go back about your life after serving your time? Why don't we just kill all felons since their lives are essentially over anyway?

At the end of the day, most football seasons don't end well, and in fact, despite the last 9 years of Eagles football spoiling me, most teams have pretty sad, boring years most years. At least now, I am guaranteed that Eagles football is gonna be the most interesting show in town, and it won't even just be on Sundays. There is no fanbase I've ever seen in sports that's more inclined to hate its team than Eagles fans. WIP season started a month early for me this year, and something tells me it's gonna go loooong past the Super Bowl. Color me pumped...and probably now hated by everyone I know.

P.S. When faced with the decision to either link everything or not link anything...I took the lazy route. Click me for the rest!